Besides enjoying it and having fun, should you decide to embark on the slut wife lifestyle, then what I consider to be the most important advice anyone could offer would be to be safe.
Obviously sexually, use protection, don’t ever take anyone’s word for their sexual history. People when motivated by lust or wanting, tend to lie. It’s easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment … and then regret it when it’s too late. There are many STDs and there’s always AIDS, do not think that because it doesn’t get as much news coverage as it used to, that AIDS is not as active as it was. It is and it can devastate your life. Don’t wrongly assume that AIDS only affects gay men. It doesn’t; it affects everyone, and you need to know this.
If you’re going to meet someone, take condoms and lubricants with you, don’t rely on them and if you’re going to meet someone alone without your partner, meet somewhere where people are about. Do not, and I stress this, do not assume because you’ve swapped a couple of emails or texts, or had a few phone chats with someone, that you know that person. You don’t. They may appear the nicest sweetest person in the world, but you do not know them and I speak from experience here.
I got talking to a man I met online, we swapped emails, eventually deciding to meet for a coffee. It went well, we met a few more times, then we started having sex. He was a businessman from the other end of the country, who’d previously lived close to where I live. We’d been seeing each other for six months, everything was fine. He used to have a thing about me dressing up a bit like a tart, which I didn’t mind … short skirts, stockings, strappy high heels, too much makeup, all that kind of thing, and he used to like sex either outdoors or in the back of his car when we weren’t back at his hotel room.
This particular time, we’d driven somewhere late in the evening and were walking around, I dressed up like a whore, when he spotted an alley, so off we went down it as we had done a few times before. We had a bit of a kiss and a grope, same as always, and then, out of the blue, he hit me. Punched me hard in the face. I still remember the shock, like it was happening to me now. I don’t remember how many times he punched me, in my face, my stomach, everything was a blur. I just remember a lot of pain, tasting my own blood, and thinking he was going to kill me.
He didn’t, he stopped to fuck me while I was bleeding and half-unconscious lying on the floor. Then he was gone, leaving me just lying there. Luckily, I still had my phone and was able to call my hubby to come and find me when I could finally pull myself together and manage to think straight and stop sobbing. I survived obviously, otherwise, I wouldn’t be here now telling you this. But it left scars and I don’t mean just emotionally. I lost a couple of teeth and needed dental work to repair others. My nose and cheek were broken and I couldn’t open my left eye for about a month.
Up until this point, everything had all been fun. No sense of danger, no indication of any danger, and then like the first punch, reality hit. And believe me, when I say, it hit very hard indeed. I learned the hard way a lesson in trust. Do not make the same mistake I did.
Now I only see men I know or who I get to know very well beforehand. But there’s still doubt, there probably always will be. The reality of this is that you’re stepping away from a safe zone, the life and people you know, and trusting someone else. Some may say that I got what I deserved for living what they define as a promiscuous lifestyle. Maybe they’re right, who am I to judge?
What I do know is that sometimes you’re going to meet some people who are not very nice and bear this in mind because they don’t come with a sign. Some hide it very well indeed. Just like him. For months. Think about that. So do be very careful and as a special agent, Mulder used to say in the X-Files: ‘Trust no one!’ At the end of the day, stay safe in whatever decision or lifestyle you decide to follow.