Slow Sex Foreplay Tips If Your Partner Is A Man
Contrary to popular belief, foreplay and slow sex is not just things that benefit women.
Anyone, regardless of gender, can have a more intense orgasm from the repeated rising and falling of their sexual arousal. I also like to think of extended sexual play as the masculine and feminine energies balancing themselves out (over time) by drinking each other in (through scent, fluids, touch/proximity, etc.). Men benefit from extended slow sex just as much as women do, albeit in slightly different ways. While women may find it easier than most men to have multiple orgasms, I believe that men benefit more (in a way) from getting out of their heads and into their bodies because our relationship to our masculine is hyper logical/heady one. But that’s a topic for a different article.
On to the slow sex foreplay tips for men. Again, not exhaustive and not meant to be linear. Calibration is key. Your man knows what he wants/needs better than any list on the internet, so make sure you’re communicating before and during your sexual play, and outside of the bedroom as well.
– Many men that I work with tell of how the hardest thing about getting in the mood for sex is getting out of their heads. The thing that gets them out of their heads and into their bodies the most consistently/the easiest? Touch. Whether it’s an extended hug hello, an unexpectedly tender kiss on the lips, or simply having their bare torso connect with their partners at the end of a workday, nothing gets men more into their bodies than physical contact. Start there.
– Consider the energy behind the touch that you’re engaging in. Your partner might need you to start with tenderness, care, and softness… or they might respond the most strongly to you unexpectedly grabbing their crotch while they’re engaging in a decidedly non-sexual activity (i.e. doing the dishes, watching TV, reading, etc.).
– Are you in bed/somewhere where you’re starting to get frisky? Great. Start with touch. Run your fingers through his hair. Move your hands over his chest. Kiss his neck, shoulders, arms, and back. Wake up his flesh with your lips and fingers.
– Kiss him softly. Suck on his lower lip. Graze your lips across his torso. Press your body against his. Let your hair act as another hand… drag it over him slowly, let it fall where it wants to. There is no order to this. The feminine chaos is part of your sexual charm… embrace it.
– After touching, kissing, cuddling, teasing for a while, you will know when he is hard and wanting more. But remember, (if I am speaking to a female reader) just as your wetness doesn’t mean you are necessarily ready to be penetrated, his hard penis doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to penetrate you… yet. And even if he does, this is slow sex. He’s allowed to wait a liiiiittle bit longer. You want to walk the line between building anticipation/sexual tension and creeping up on his genuine frustration. You want to handle his penis/take him into your mouth/etc. before he’s genuinely frustrated and starts to lose his erection, but the window of time you have is likely longer than you think it is. So let him squirm a little bit. Anticipatory pleasure is still pleasured nonetheless.
– When you decide to start interacting directly with his penis, find your way there slowly. Run your fingers along his torso. Tease his inner thighs. Kiss your way down his body. Slowly run your fingertip along the underside of his shaft. Gently palm his balls (I know, balls can be confusing… but just start gently and work your way up from there. You’ll be able to tell what kind of pressure he responds to best when you experiment a bit).
– If you want to take him into your mouth, take your time. Hover your face near the head of his penis. Lick your way up from the base of the shaft to the tip. When you first take him into your mouth, you can either surprise him by taking him in one fell swoop, or you can take the teasing route by only taking part of his head past your lips and pausing there for a moment. Whether you start with small, teasing kisses, or you envelop him fully, you really can’t go wrong. Just take your time. If his penis is in or near your mouth he’s having fun, I promise.
Slow Sex: During Your Sexual Play
Foreplay is great and taking it slowly definitely sets the stage for some luscious, nourishing, heart-exploding sexual play.
If I could, I would eradicate the word ‘foreplay’ from existence, because it doesn’t serve anyone to think of sex as either “all the stuff that isn’t penetration” and “penetration.” In truth, all sex is sex, and all foreplay is still sex. There’s no rule that says you can’t use your hands and mouth as standalone acts during/between rounds of penetrative sex. In fact, it’s encouraged. All of your parts, with all of their parts, all of the time. It’s much more fun that way.
Sex isn’t meant to be sterile, or neat, or organized, or linear. Sex is sex. It’s a free for all. It’s all over the place. Sex is about feeling and connecting and playing and enjoying. That’s what makes it so much fun. It’s the one place where you get to throw off the shackles (or put on the shackles, you kinky thing you) of daily life and be free.
So, to carry the slowness into your sexual exploration…
– Take your time when first penetrating/being penetrated. Savour the moment. Enter/allow yourself to be entered while feeling every inch of your partner’s flesh.
– Make eye contact. Or wear blindfolds. Kiss a lot. Or bite instead. Try out some dirty talk. Describe what you’re doing to them, what they’re doing to you, and what you want to happen next. You have eyes, mouths, hands, and ears for a reason. Touch, feel, communicate, taste, and play. You have all night.