I am really just a normal, everyday, “mature” London lady who has been lucky enough to experience a wonderful lifestyle that I would never have dreamed possible if it hadn’t actually happened and unfolded as it has.
Because … over the past thirty-eight years, my personal life has exploded from a wonderfully happy but completely monogamous, marriage . . . into an amazing three decades of occasional lovers, experiencing a full “swinging” and open-marriage lifestyle . . . and . . . most recently, discovering, exploring and enjoying a truly wonderful journey into the world of BDSM and developing the fun dominatrix side of my personality. All with the same wonderful, and loving, hubby as when it began all those years ago.
And, as I explain in the “The More I Have” page on my website, my husband and I had always enjoyed a wonderfully loving, open, and sexually adventurous relationship and our love for each other was complete and never in question. And yet, I still strayed. Un-expected, un-planned . . . something I never thought I (of all people) would, or could, ever do. And yet it happened. Lunchtime coffees with a work colleague turned into evening meals, turned into . . .
Someone else liked me! Wanted me! Aroused me! Excited me! I couldn’t help myself . . . even the complete feelings of guilt and shame in the aftermath, couldn’t stop me. I enjoyed it, I wanted it, I needed it.
My husband insisted he suspected and knew almost right from the start . . . but for several months said nothing. Our own sex (after my “meetings”) was passionate and more fulfilling than ever. And with pangs of guilt the next morning, I would tell myself I would stop my affair, I didn’t need it, it was wrong, it was immoral.
But I couldn’t stop, I couldn’t say no, I couldn’t refuse, I couldn’t deny it . . . just as I couldn’t deny it the day my husband confronted me with that “are you having an affair” question!!!
I thought it would shatter our world and it would be the end of our marriage. I thought we’d have an explosive argument, floods of tears and abuse. But INSTEAD my husband told me he LOVED it . . . he LOVED the fact that I could experience the excitement and thrills of sexual adventure and pleasure with another man.
That day changed our lives . . . it made us each better people . . . and it made our relationship EVEN stronger and more loving, fulfilling and exciting, than either of us could ever have imagined.
How/Why did you become a writer?
I can’t really claim to be a “writer” as such. My short Ebook stories … and the entries on my blog pages … are all auto-biographical, and just recollections of many of the fun times and adventures that my lifestyle has allowed me to experience. So my writings are really just an extension of my personal diaries as I explain below.
What first made you to create The Modesty Ablaze Diaries? What was the idea behind it?
I’d always kept personal diaries, handwritten and usually scribbled out in my own type of shorthand abbreviations … this was obviously long before computers LOL !!!
And when I began my first office affair, those scribbled abbreviations became important reminders and schedule points to my clandestine (at first) evenings out.
When, after some months, I confessed my affair to my husband and he surprised me by telling me he LOVED the fact that I was having “fun” with someone else, he wanted to know ALL the details. And I discovered that I actually found it quite thrilling to see (and feel) his obvious enjoyment and arousal. So I showed him my diary scribbles and he loved that even more. It was amazing and empowering, sensation to see him so excited and turned-on by reading my recollections that I’d written down, usually the day after a meeting with my lover.
He would always be waiting up for me, with a glass of wine, when I returned home each evening after a “night out” with my lover. We’d usually sit on the lounge sofa whilst I recounted the events of the evening, which hotel, what the room was like … and, of course, how our love-making had begun, and ended. And my late-night would become even later !!!
I initially thought those wonderful “end of night reviews” would be enough to quench his curiosity but he asked me to still keep writing after every evening-out so that he could read and re-live the excitement of my liaisons.
And I found that I enjoyed re-living those fun liaisons too. So, over the years, as our lifestyle and experiences just grew and grew, those diaries grew and grew too.
So … several decades later … when I first began posting and sharing my thoughts about open-relationships and fun lifestyle online as “Modesty Ablaze” with some short excerpts from my diaries, I started receiving emails and messages suggesting I should publish those excerpts as Ebooks. Hence the “Modesty Ablaze Diaries”.
Do you think sex sells?
People will always be curious and inquisitive about sex won’t they? It’s one of our strongest, and most natural emotions. It’s just a basic part of human nature … for all of us.
Where can you see yourself going in the next couple of years?
I have never planned any part of my life really. I have just learned to embrace new opportunities, and new adventures, and if I find I enjoy them then I carry on experiencing and indulging in those new directions.
What is the best part of your work? What is most challenging about it?
The best part of being able to be “Modesty Ablaze”, and even in my “Mistress Modesty” persona, is having so many people continually telling me how much they enjoy my sharing. How reading about my lifestyle, has helped them accept themselves for who they really are and would like to be. And how Modesty Ablaze brings fun and joy to their lives.
And challenges? I don’t really have any challenges … I just want to continue living life, enjoying life and helping others feel the same.
How the current situation around the world with Covid-19 in your mind will affect the future of sex and people’s sexuality?
I don’t think anyone really knows what long-term affects this pandemic will have on us. I hope and pray the outcome will mean safety and better understanding for all us. And soon.
Share something about yourself, only for our readers?
Lol !!! … I would think, and hope, that anyone following me at Modesty Ablaze, and through my various Members and Fans pages, will know all about my outlook on life, relationships and sexuality.
Anything else you would like to say to our readers?
My advice to everybody will always be …
“Live your life as you wish to live it. Give love and joy to all of those around you”.