BDSM Training – Methodology and Techniques

Trust and communication to make any type of training successful is important. It is the best way for her to surrender her will and for you to show you deserve that gift.

Many people when they hear BDSM training they bring up their mind something like a manual of how to turn someone into a Master or a submissive. The truth is there is no such thing and according to my opinion whoever claims to have the way to achieve that is only an ignorant or one with a God syndrome we should afraid of.  I will not argue that using force and fear you may alter an individual’s behavior but that is not part of the Modern BDSM and of course not something originating from a healthy mind. In Modern BDSM it is a basic principle that one enters the lifestyle either as a Dom or a sub by its own will, therefore what a Master can do is develop the submissive instincts of his partner. BDSM training is not something we may include it within a time limit as it is not a school or a university. BDSM training is an ongoing process both on a personal level and the level or learning from the Master.

There are though a few principles a Master should follow in order to help his partner go deeper and explore further her submissive side or even in case she is new and unaware, find out about that side of hers. Searching the web I find various articles that most of them I find them silly and fictional when they claim BDSM training may include cooking, tea serving, massage, leather care and boot blackening. Maybe they confuse a submissive woman with a maid, what can I say?

BDSM training for me is a Master to alter his partner behavior for their private or public moments according to his desires. An example I will take is my dislike of women using a bad language for no reason and I mean for NO REASON. The more she will do it the more she will be punished. Eventually, she will learn not to do so and that is a change in her behavior that I may include into BDSM training. Exactly because training main goal is your partner behavior, you need to be steady on what you ask for, what punishment you may apply, when or why you let something go unpunished and how you communicate this. To train your submissive first you need to be sure what you are seeking out and want from her.

Others, when they hear BDSM training imagine women doing housework wearing shackles and kinky outfit. It is the image they got from the porn industry or BDSM artwork. To be honest I find it a very interesting concept and something you may apply to her for pleasure or punishment depending on how you are using it but still that is not a method to train your partner. Of course, as I believe BDSM and how we experience it with our submissive is very personal therefore you might need and want something different from what I do.  In any event, that is the main reason it makes important the Master have a clearly defined concept of what BDSM lifestyle means to him in order to train his slave accordingly. I know I repeat the same but I want to make sure those who read this article understand crystal clear that BDSM training is not just to learn your woman to open her legs willingly when you ask it or even more how she will accept without any complaints anything crazy it may come to your head.

At this point, I want to explain I am speaking about submissives, not slaves. There is a difference and I do not like the idea of a slave as by definition a slave has no will, nothing at all of her own and she is just a reflection of her owner’s image and desires. The submissive on the other hand, is a challenge, she has her desires, she might even be a very dynamic person with strong personality who only give up all these for the sake of her Master and out of the respect she feels towards him many times (if not always) accepting she is in front to someone superior. A submissive may not like spanking but she will take it submitting to the desire of her Master knowing she is giving him the pleasure he seeks and that will bring her pleasure as well. The slave …… she likes spanking because her Master likes it. If he changes his mind then she will change as well. I believe the difference is clear.

Trust and communication to make any type of training successful is important. It is the best way for her to surrender her will and for you to show you deserve that gift. Don’t forget, submission is a gift given to you by her. Trust will bring up the importance of time. It is not something easily taken and you depending on the individual and how honest both are, it may vary how long it will take. A submissive, new or experienced it makes no difference, is ready for development (training) when she is an open book to her Master mentally and emotionally.

A submissive she may and actually she should go from time to time into a slave status in the meaning she has to understand there are periods of times she has no freedom at all, she is owned and she has to blindly follow her Master. How long these time periods will last and how often is something they will find out together. That is the reason that sometimes submissives eventually end up to be only slaves denying to go back as they find great pleasure and happiness into that. In any case, the submissive by her own choice and will is giving up her freedoms.

Here is a very tricky training part. You will never make it train one who owns a stronger reasoning than yours though for other reasons (love, sometimes desire etc) she may accept to close her eyes to that sometimes act like being trained by you. Eventually she will Dom from the bottom. Now what I mention reasoning? When I ask from my submissive to do something e.g. always have her hand/toe nails coloured I have to give a reason behind it. I have to show that I KNOW WHY I am asking her to do that. Of course some may say there is no reason to explain anything at all since it is my desire but I do not believe that. I will not deny there are desires we can not explain them fully but anything we can provide her as an explanation will be helpful. She from her side, needs to remember that from the moment you do so and that is a nice way to test her.

BDSM training my also include fun games who just focus to develop further her obedience. The best way to learn is through fun staff and you may need to start becoming a bit more creative in order to succeed that. Well, sometimes these games might not be that fun for her but it won’t hurt to try them. One of my favorite game for obedience is the heel agony. According to that game, that I love her to be nude as I “torture” her, she needs to stand on her toes with her hands behind her head. I have many different objects that I can place under her heels and some of them may be a bit more….. painful like some dices or small plastic triangles etc. Some will be only fun staff like toys that make strange noises when you squeeze them. Now once she gets on her toes I decide what object I may place under her heels of course without her knowing what was my choice. My order is that she may not let her heels go down without my permission. If she does, I may spank or whip or do anything at all to punish her. Second rule is that if she won’t be able to hold her self anymore on her toes the she has to step her heels on the object and if from fear she does otherwise I will punish her again. Third rule is to guess (after I ask her) what is the object under her heels. If she guess correctly the object goes out of the game, if not then she steps down to find out what it was. You need a lot of different objects, be patient, understand she might need a small break from time to time and trust me, it is not that easy to step your heels down when you know it might be something it will hurt them.

Always play safe and use a safe word, even for a game as the one described above.

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